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I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Long
Horrendous
Obscene
Filthy
Honest
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More quotes by Bill Hicks
We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!
Bill Hicks
People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps... sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
Bill Hicks
[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'
Bill Hicks
You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
Bill Hicks
I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.
Bill Hicks
I can't believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.
Bill Hicks
Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks
I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
Bill Hicks
I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
Bill Hicks
We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
Bill Hicks
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
Bill Hicks
You are the imagination of yourself.
Bill Hicks
I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'
Bill Hicks
Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
Bill Hicks
I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place.
Bill Hicks
Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
Bill Hicks
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
Bill Hicks
I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
Bill Hicks
This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.
Bill Hicks
I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
Bill Hicks
