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You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
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Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
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Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
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More quotes by Bill Hicks
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.
Bill Hicks
That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
Bill Hicks
Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.
Bill Hicks
How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!
Bill Hicks
To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
Bill Hicks
Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.
Bill Hicks
Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves...After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
Bill Hicks
Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
Bill Hicks
I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.
Bill Hicks
The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.
Bill Hicks
Don't worry don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
Bill Hicks
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
Bill Hicks
People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
Bill Hicks
If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
Bill Hicks
People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'
Bill Hicks
If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.
Bill Hicks
Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.
Bill Hicks
Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
Bill Hicks
Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
Bill Hicks
I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
Bill Hicks