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If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Worship
Thought
Agnostic
Jews
Jew
Killed
Atheist
Atheism

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
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I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
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But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
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People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps... sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
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If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
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I'm tired of this back-slappin' isn't humanity neat bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.
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The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
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....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.
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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
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You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
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What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
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I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
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I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.
Bill Hicks
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Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
Bill Hicks
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Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs...shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'?
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.
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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'
Bill Hicks
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I've said all that I've had to say.
Bill Hicks