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If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Thought
Agnostic
Jews
Jew
Killed
Atheist
Atheism
Worship

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I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
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I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
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You are the imagination of yourself.
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I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.
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...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all.
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I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
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We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!
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Don't worry don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
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You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
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Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
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I saw a sign on the side of the road in Tennessee once that said 'dirt for sale'... what a great country we live in. DIRT for sale. How would you like to get inside that guy's mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn't he?
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You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
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There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue - those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS - but they remain strangely silent.
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Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.
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I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, I did it! Hey!
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What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.
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When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
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No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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