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People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
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Left
More quotes by Bill Hicks
No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans.
Bill Hicks
All your beliefs, they're just that. They're nothing. They're how you were taught and raised. That doesn't make 'em real.
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Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
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I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.
Bill Hicks
I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place.
Bill Hicks
Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
Bill Hicks
Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
Bill Hicks
Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
Bill Hicks
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
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I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
Bill Hicks
If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.
Bill Hicks
The CIA has a plot...they've used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem...is convincing Hussein...to fly to Dallas.
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Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.
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How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy.
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I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more.
Bill Hicks
It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
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All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.'
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This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.
Bill Hicks
'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
Bill Hicks