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I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Lasts
Last
Hate
Time
Checked
World
Patriotism
Round
Rounds
Stand

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I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'
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You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
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It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
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Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.
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How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!
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It seems to me that there will be a point in out development or our evolution where you put your guns aside.
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People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
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Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.
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I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'
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I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.
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I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
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It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
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'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
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Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
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Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
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not all drugs are good.. some of them are great
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So scary watching the news...Like Iraq...could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever.
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To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
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