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I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
World
Patriotism
Round
Rounds
Stand
Lasts
Last
Hate
Time
Checked

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You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
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It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.
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You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
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People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
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We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.
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Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?
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Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.
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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.
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We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
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While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely.
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I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.
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I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
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I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.
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I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, I did it! Hey!
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It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.
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They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer
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Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.
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