Quote

I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.

Bill Hicks

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Band
Humor
Comedy
Funk
Funny
Touring
Drugs
Anymore
Average
Drug

More quotes by Bill Hicks

Image
Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks
Image
You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
Bill Hicks
Image
I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.
Bill Hicks
Image
The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!
Bill Hicks
Image
Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.
Bill Hicks
Image
That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.
Bill Hicks
Image
They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer
Bill Hicks
Image
I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
Bill Hicks
Image
All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.'
Bill Hicks
Image
It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.
Bill Hicks
Image
I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.
Bill Hicks
Image
Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.
Bill Hicks
Image
The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
Bill Hicks
Image
I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.
Bill Hicks
Image
So scary watching the news...Like Iraq...could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever.
Bill Hicks
Image
Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.
Bill Hicks
Image
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
Bill Hicks
Image
Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
Bill Hicks
Image
'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
Bill Hicks
Image
How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy.
Bill Hicks