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I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Funny
Touring
Drugs
Anymore
Average
Drug
Band
Humor
Comedy
Funk
More quotes by Bill Hicks
Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?
Bill Hicks
Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
Bill Hicks
All your beliefs, they're just that. They're nothing. They're how you were taught and raised. That doesn't make 'em real.
Bill Hicks
There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue - those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS - but they remain strangely silent.
Bill Hicks
Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
Bill Hicks
Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
Bill Hicks
I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more.
Bill Hicks
I've said all that I've had to say.
Bill Hicks
It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.
Bill Hicks
I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place.
Bill Hicks
We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
Bill Hicks
I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.
Bill Hicks
What does an atheist scream when they come?
Bill Hicks
If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
Bill Hicks
People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'
Bill Hicks
Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
Bill Hicks
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
Bill Hicks
The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!
Bill Hicks
We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
Bill Hicks
Don't worry don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
Bill Hicks
