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Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Priests
Atheist
Sex
Listen
Humor
Funny
Women
Sexes
Great
Agnostic
More quotes by Bill Hicks
What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
Bill Hicks
The world's like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it's real, that's how powerful our minds are
Bill Hicks
I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
Bill Hicks
The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
Bill Hicks
I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.
Bill Hicks
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
Bill Hicks
I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.
Bill Hicks
We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
Bill Hicks
That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.
Bill Hicks
It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
Bill Hicks
You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
Bill Hicks
And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks
No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
Bill Hicks
It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed. I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me...oxygen tent, iron lung.
Bill Hicks
The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.
Bill Hicks
I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.
Bill Hicks
I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world.
Bill Hicks
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
Bill Hicks
The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.
Bill Hicks
Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
Bill Hicks