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Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Funny
Women
Sexes
Great
Agnostic
Priests
Atheist
Sex
Listen
Humor
More quotes by Bill Hicks
A lotta Christians wear crosses 'round their necks do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross?
Bill Hicks
Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.
Bill Hicks
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.
Bill Hicks
So scary watching the news...Like Iraq...could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever.
Bill Hicks
To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
Bill Hicks
Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
Bill Hicks
To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
Bill Hicks
I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'
Bill Hicks
I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.
Bill Hicks
I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
Bill Hicks
It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
Bill Hicks
The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
Bill Hicks
The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.
Bill Hicks
Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth. ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, Lung Cancer.
Bill Hicks
...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all.
Bill Hicks
Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
Bill Hicks
Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
Bill Hicks
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
Bill Hicks
I am available for children's parties, by the way.
Bill Hicks
What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.
Bill Hicks
