Quote

Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

Bill Hicks

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Sex
Listen
Humor
Funny
Women
Sexes
Great
Agnostic
Priests
Atheist

More quotes by Bill Hicks

Image
I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.
Bill Hicks
Image
Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.
Bill Hicks
Image
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.
Bill Hicks
Image
Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
Bill Hicks
Image
The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
Bill Hicks
Image
I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.
Bill Hicks
Image
How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy.
Bill Hicks
Image
The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.
Bill Hicks
Image
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'
Bill Hicks
Image
Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
Bill Hicks
Image
I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
Bill Hicks
Image
I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
Bill Hicks
Image
How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!
Bill Hicks
Image
I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
Bill Hicks
Image
It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
Bill Hicks
Image
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
Bill Hicks
Image
A lotta Christians wear crosses 'round their necks do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross?
Bill Hicks
Image
Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.
Bill Hicks
Image
The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
Bill Hicks
Image
No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
Bill Hicks