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Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Humor
Funny
Women
Sexes
Great
Agnostic
Priests
Atheist
Sex
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More quotes by Bill Hicks

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...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all.
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I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.
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'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
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This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart.
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We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
Bill Hicks
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Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
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Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
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I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.
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I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more.
Bill Hicks
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And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
Bill Hicks
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I saw a sign on the side of the road in Tennessee once that said 'dirt for sale'... what a great country we live in. DIRT for sale. How would you like to get inside that guy's mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn't he?
Bill Hicks
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You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
Bill Hicks
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I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
Bill Hicks
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All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.'
Bill Hicks
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It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
Bill Hicks
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What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
Bill Hicks
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
Bill Hicks
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That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
Bill Hicks
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We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!
Bill Hicks