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Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Agnostic
Great
Priests
Atheist
Sex
Listen
Humor
Funny
Sexes
Women

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Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.
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What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
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The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
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I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
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All governments are lying cocksuckers.
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.
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They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer
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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
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The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
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The world's like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it's real, that's how powerful our minds are
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Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
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What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
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The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!
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What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
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I'm tired of this back-slappin' isn't humanity neat bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.
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Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
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Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
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When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'
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....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.
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