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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
America
States
People
Kingdom
Kingdoms
Outside
Share
United
Doesn
More quotes by Bill Hicks
Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?
Bill Hicks
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
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I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.
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Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
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I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
Bill Hicks
The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!
Bill Hicks
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.
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I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.
Bill Hicks
I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
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The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
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What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
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Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth. ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, Lung Cancer.
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Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.
Bill Hicks
It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
Bill Hicks
If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.
Bill Hicks
Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
Bill Hicks
While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely.
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
Bill Hicks
I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
Bill Hicks
It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed. I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me...oxygen tent, iron lung.
Bill Hicks