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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Doesn
America
States
People
Kingdom
Kingdoms
Outside
Share
United

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
Bill Hicks
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What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It's gonna be worth it!.
Bill Hicks
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I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, I did it! Hey!
Bill Hicks
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I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'
Bill Hicks
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I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
Bill Hicks
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Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
Bill Hicks
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Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.
Bill Hicks
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I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world.
Bill Hicks
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No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
Bill Hicks
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I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.
Bill Hicks
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The world's like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it's real, that's how powerful our minds are
Bill Hicks
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What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
Bill Hicks
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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'
Bill Hicks
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It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.
Bill Hicks
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
Bill Hicks
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To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
Bill Hicks
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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
Bill Hicks
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
Bill Hicks
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In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth... see you at the final.
Bill Hicks
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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
Bill Hicks