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It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Comedian
Gets
Hurt
Funny
Someone
Always
Hilarious
More quotes by Bill Hicks
I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place.
Bill Hicks
Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
Bill Hicks
You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
Bill Hicks
I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
Bill Hicks
I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
Bill Hicks
Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
Bill Hicks
I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
Bill Hicks
Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks
I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.
Bill Hicks
How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!
Bill Hicks
I am available for children's parties, by the way.
Bill Hicks
And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks
I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.
Bill Hicks
I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.
Bill Hicks
What does an atheist scream when they come?
Bill Hicks
Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
Bill Hicks
What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
Bill Hicks
Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
Bill Hicks
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.
Bill Hicks
People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
Bill Hicks