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It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Always
Hilarious
Comedian
Gets
Hurt
Funny
Someone

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?
Bill Hicks
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When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'
Bill Hicks
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Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
Bill Hicks
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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
Bill Hicks
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You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
Bill Hicks
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'
Bill Hicks
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
Bill Hicks
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I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
Bill Hicks
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They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer
Bill Hicks
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You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
Bill Hicks
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It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
Bill Hicks
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People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
Bill Hicks
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...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all.
Bill Hicks
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The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.
Bill Hicks
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This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.
Bill Hicks
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Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America... you are free to do as we tell you... you are free to do as we tell you.
Bill Hicks
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The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!
Bill Hicks
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Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.
Bill Hicks
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The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.
Bill Hicks
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That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.
Bill Hicks