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It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Comedian
Gets
Hurt
Funny
Someone
Always
Hilarious
More quotes by Bill Hicks
I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
Bill Hicks
Don't worry don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
Bill Hicks
Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
Bill Hicks
When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
Bill Hicks
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
Bill Hicks
It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed. I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me...oxygen tent, iron lung.
Bill Hicks
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'
Bill Hicks
I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more.
Bill Hicks
Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
Bill Hicks
Be yourself on stage. Nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.
Bill Hicks
Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?
Bill Hicks
The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!
Bill Hicks
What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
Bill Hicks
I've said all that I've had to say.
Bill Hicks
When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'
Bill Hicks
All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.'
Bill Hicks
Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
Bill Hicks
It seems to me that there will be a point in out development or our evolution where you put your guns aside.
Bill Hicks
The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
Bill Hicks
Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
Bill Hicks
