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When you're doing stand-up, you achieve an intimacy with the audience you can't get on TV. There's not a better feeling in the entire world then when you look out and see the audience is identifying with you.
Bill Engvall
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Bill Engvall
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: July 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Singer
Songwriter
Television Actor
Galveston
Texas
William Ray Bill Engvall
Jr.
William Ray Engvall
Jr.
William Engvall
Jr.
William Ray Engvall
William Engvall
Feelings
Better
Identifying
Look
Intimacy
Looks
Entire
World
Achieve
Stand
Feeling
Audience
More quotes by Bill Engvall
You know your getting older when you lay in bed til 10am and think to yourself god I just wasted half the day.
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Did you ever notice all the items on a honey do list are dangerous. Clean gutters, put light in shower, patch roof. It's a honey die list.
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To all companies please stop using Xmas songs and inserting your own lyrics. Write your own music. I am boycotting you until you stop.
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I believe pain is nature's way of saying, 'You're still alive, and life sucks.'
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A condom is a rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums.
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My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties...welcome to my world.
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I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.
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I know at least two people who have never been killed by hippos.
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Ma'am, when I got up this morning, I didn't want to be jackass. You just pushed my jackass button.
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How about this, have you ever farted so hard you shivered?
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Just when I think the human race has been lost to the what about me people. I see the best we have to offer helping others.
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He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot. Well of course it's a golf shot I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot.
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Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger.
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No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.
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When the bus driver gets off the bus, who shuts the door?
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So the hotel tells us that it is not safe to go in the water because its shark mating time. I know how I'd feel if someone interrupted me.
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I've never read a kayak manual, but I'm pretty sure page one says 'Use in water.'
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In 1903 the Wright brothers invented airplanes, because in 1902 they took a road trip across the country with their family.
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And don't put a rose in my hand. Put a slim-jim in it. Send me to heaven with a slim-jim!
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