Quote

In 1903 the Wright brothers invented airplanes, because in 1902 they took a road trip across the country with their family.

Bill Engvall

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Engvall
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: July 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Singer
Songwriter
Television Actor
Galveston
Texas
William Ray Bill Engvall
Jr.
William Ray Engvall
Jr.
William Engvall
Jr.
William Ray Engvall
William Engvall
Brothers
Across
Road
Brother
Wright
Took
Airplanes
Family
Trip
Country
Airplane
Invented

More quotes by Bill Engvall

Image
You know your getting older when you lay in bed til 10am and think to yourself god I just wasted half the day.
Bill Engvall
Image
My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties...welcome to my world.
Bill Engvall
Image
Ma'am, when I got up this morning, I didn't want to be jackass. You just pushed my jackass button.
Bill Engvall
Image
I've never read a kayak manual, but I'm pretty sure page one says 'Use in water.'
Bill Engvall
Image
When the bus driver gets off the bus, who shuts the door?
Bill Engvall
Image
Just when I think the human race has been lost to the what about me people. I see the best we have to offer helping others.
Bill Engvall
Image
To all companies please stop using Xmas songs and inserting your own lyrics. Write your own music. I am boycotting you until you stop.
Bill Engvall
Image
The older you get, the more people think they have to listen to you.
Bill Engvall
Image
Because we've become so ecologically minded now, they have developed a product called Rapidly Dissolving Toilet Paper. Just how rapidly are we talking? 'Cause I don't want to have to play Beat the Clock in the thicket.
Bill Engvall
Image
I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there's a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to the hood. My buddy says to me you think he's been hunting? Nope, They're probably giving them away with the purchase of every jeep. Here's your sign!
Bill Engvall
Image
There's a group in California that wants to make suicide a capital offense punishable by death. That's like punishing someone for being on a hunger strike by sending them to bed with no supper.
Bill Engvall
Image
I was sitting on a plane that is traveling towards Seattle. And the guy next to me turns and says to me Hey, you going to Seattle?. Nope, San Francisco... I'll be parachuting off in about an hour. Here's your sign!
Bill Engvall
Image
I go I just want a cup of black coffee. She goes Do you want to try a biscotti? They're from Italy and they're considered a delicacy. Have you ever eaten one of these things? It tastes like a burned cookie. Where I'm from, that's considered a mistake.
Bill Engvall
Image
I just hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that say 'I'm Stupid.' That way you wouldn't rely on them, and you wouldn't ask them for nothing.
Bill Engvall
Image
And don't put a rose in my hand. Put a slim-jim in it. Send me to heaven with a slim-jim!
Bill Engvall
Image
I thought RV stood for Recreational Vehicle. No! It stands for Ruins Vacations.
Bill Engvall
Image
I was always the Class Clown and over time became very good at it. I started doing comedy on stage at the Dallas Comedy Corner where I honed my skills by watching guys like Garry Shandling, Robin Williams, Jay Lena and more.
Bill Engvall
Image
Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger.
Bill Engvall
Image
A condom is a rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums.
Bill Engvall
Image
If you thought Stairway to Heaven was a long song, dear god you should listen to it played on a lute.
Bill Engvall