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You know my father's favorite game? Come here and pull my finger.

Bill Cosby

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Bill Cosby
Age: 87
Born: 1937
Born: July 12
American Football Player
Comedian
Composer
Dub Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Manufacturer
Screenwriter
Singer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
William Henry Bill Cosby Jr.
Dr. William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William Henry Cosby Jr.
Finger
Pull
Favorite
Fingers
Game
Games
Father
Come

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You are not going to 'go forth.' You are going to take that damn hat off and you're going to get a job.
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Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.
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My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.
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The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.
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Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
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I recently turned fifty, which is young for a tree, mid-life for an elephant, and ancient for a quarter-miler, whose son now says, Dad, I just can't run the quarter with you anymore, unless I bring something to read.
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Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
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I am not afraid of crashing, my secret is . . . just before we hit the ground, I jump as high as I can.
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Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point... and they're still yelling.
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Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His kids.
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You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it.
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Why do I have to feed the kids? They just ate twelve hours ago!
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The mother may be doing ninety percent of the disciplining, but the father still must have a full-time acceptance of all the children. He never must say, Get these kids out of here I'm trying to watch TV. If he ever does start saying this, he is liable to see one of his kids on the six o'clock news.
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Brown versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.
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I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
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Never say [to younger people] that was before your time, because the last full moon was before their time!
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I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!
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When I decided that I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a school teacher for 7th and 8th grade boys because I felt that was an important time for them. I had gone astray at that point in my life and really wanted to help keep them from making the same mistake I had made.
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A person with no children says, Well I just love children, and you say Why? and they say, Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em - they tell the truth. That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain.
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I don't have a clue about the way to achievement, however the way to disappointment is attempting to please everyone.
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