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I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are.

Bill Cosby

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Bill Cosby
Age: 87
Born: 1937
Born: July 12
American Football Player
Comedian
Composer
Dub Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Manufacturer
Screenwriter
Singer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
William Henry Bill Cosby Jr.
Dr. William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William Henry Cosby Jr.
Love
Names
Lying
Funny
Rupert
Mother
Mothers
Remember
Mad
Find
Humor
Live
Boys
Come
Name

More quotes by Bill Cosby

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we cannot afford to settle for being just average we must learn as much as we can to be the best that we can. The key word is education - education with maximum effort. Without it, we cannot be in charge of ourselves or anyone else.
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You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it.
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Repeat after me. I promise not to run outside of the house. I promise not to run inside of the house. I promise not to touch, pick up, step on, anything that looks interesting.
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A child who is disciplined will be more obedient and also more organized as a student.
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People say God will find a way. God can't find a way if you're in the way.
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
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Romance is a different word than sexual contact.
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When the child is twelve, your wife buys her a splendidly silly article of clothing called a training bra. To train what? I never had a training jock. And believe me, when I played football, I could have used a training jock more than any twelve-year-old needs a training bra.
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Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.
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I was a physical education major with a child psychology minor at Temple, which means if you ask me a question about a child's behavior, I will advise you to tell the child to take a lap.
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I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids.
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It is not a matter of who is rejecting me, as much as it is somebody may get it, and I am going to keep plowing through it because in this world of education, there is a harvest.
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A pelican that is wet walks with a gated limp, but a dry fish swims alone.
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A person with no children says, Well I just love children, and you say Why? and they say, Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em - they tell the truth. That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain.
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This happened to the people. The Constitution says of the people, by the people, for the people... but the people who got the office, got into office and forgot about the people.
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I am not afraid of crashing, my secret is . . . just before we hit the ground, I jump as high as I can.
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As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird.
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I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself into the audience and adjust my pace and tuning to them. I can get into their heads through their ears and through their eyes. Only through this total communication can I really achieve what I'm trying to do.
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We go out of our way to make people so different,... to punish them because of color, because of sex, because of size, and the game starts.
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