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I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids.

Bill Cosby

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Bill Cosby
Age: 87
Born: 1937
Born: July 12
American Football Player
Comedian
Composer
Dub Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Manufacturer
Screenwriter
Singer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
William Henry Bill Cosby Jr.
Dr. William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William Henry Cosby Jr.
Condom
Wear
Plan
Plans
Kids

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Anyone who has brought up children knows that consistency has absolutely nothing to do with discipline.
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
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These people marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education and now we've got these knuckleheads walking round.
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The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them.
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Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
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It is not a matter of who is rejecting me, as much as it is somebody may get it, and I am going to keep plowing through it because in this world of education, there is a harvest.
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There are some people who have trouble recognizing a mess.
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'Don't worry about senility', my grandfather used to say.
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The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: Okay, rinse.
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When the child is twelve, your wife buys her a splendidly silly article of clothing called a training bra. To train what? I never had a training jock. And believe me, when I played football, I could have used a training jock more than any twelve-year-old needs a training bra.
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I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself into the audience and adjust my pace and tuning to them. I can get into their heads through their ears and through their eyes. Only through this total communication can I really achieve what I'm trying to do.
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You are more important to yourself than you think you are.
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Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
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As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by 'survival of the fittest.'
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I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
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Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? was not In the men's room, Julie.
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The childless experts on child raising also bring tears of laughter to my eyes when they say, I love children because they're so honest. There is not an agent in the CIA or the KGB who knows how to conceal the theft of food, how to fake being asleep, or how to forge a parent's signature like a child.
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Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.
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On many young actors that don't give their parents proper credit: I'm still waiting for some actor to win, say, an Oscar... and deliver the following acceptance speech: I would like to thank my parents, first of all, for letting me live.
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The first time I came across the birds and the bees in actual flight, I couldn't identify the formation.
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