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Why do I have to feed the kids? They just ate twelve hours ago!

Bill Cosby

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Bill Cosby
Age: 87
Born: 1937
Born: July 12
American Football Player
Comedian
Composer
Dub Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Manufacturer
Screenwriter
Singer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
William Henry Bill Cosby Jr.
Dr. William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William Henry Cosby Jr.
Humor
Comedy
Hours
Funny
Kids
Twelve
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What best defines a child is the total inability to receive information from anything not plugged in.
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Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.
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I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are.
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You can not make everybody happy.
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The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them.
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Well, I really don't know what the secret of success is but I can tell you that the secret of failure is to try to please everyone.
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Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.
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There should be more on television that uplifts people and shows them how to better prepare themselves for earning a living. There still aren't enough people that say this should not be. We just let it go. We need to raise a loud voice about our fellow human beings.
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Today's parents grew up with the silly notion that music was meant to be heard.
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Romance is a different word than sexual contact.
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My grandfather said, When you become senile, you won't know it.
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I can't even talk the way these people talk. 'Why you ain't?' 'Where you is?' Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
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Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.
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You know my father's favorite game? Come here and pull my finger.
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I did not want to turn to playing golf because golf is about as much exercise as shuffling cards.
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I've got a Ferrari. VROOM! I do 104 from the garage to the front door.
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Any husband who says, My wife and I are completely equal partners, is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.
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I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids.
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