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Why do I have to feed the kids? They just ate twelve hours ago!
Bill Cosby
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Bill Cosby
Age: 87
Born: 1937
Born: July 12
American Football Player
Comedian
Composer
Dub Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Manufacturer
Screenwriter
Singer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
William Henry Bill Cosby Jr.
Dr. William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William Henry Cosby Jr.
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Humor
Comedy
Hours
Funny
Kids
Twelve
More quotes by Bill Cosby
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
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Let me say this: I only expect the black media to uphold the standards of excellence in journalism and when you do that, you have to go in with a neutral mind.
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Romance is a different word than sexual contact.
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A father has to do everything in his power to keep a tight ship, even though he knows the crew would like to send him away in a dinghy.
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Family is conflict and it's something that we all relate to.
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Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.
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Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in.
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Repeat after me. I promise not to run outside of the house. I promise not to run inside of the house. I promise not to touch, pick up, step on, anything that looks interesting.
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The measure ov overexposure is not how many times people see you on TV or in the bookstores. It's whether you can maintain the quality of your entertainment. If you can, people will always be glad to see you.
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When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing ... will win arguments and straighten people out.
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Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you.
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People should fact check. People shouldn’t have to go through that and shouldn’t answer to innuendos.
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Grandparents are God's gifts to children.
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The childless experts on child raising also bring tears of laughter to my eyes when they say, I love children because they're so honest. There is not an agent in the CIA or the KGB who knows how to conceal the theft of food, how to fake being asleep, or how to forge a parent's signature like a child.
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The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: Okay, rinse.
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
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God has a sense of humor though and he must see funny things in us. He must also have some love. We're still here and there are still great things that go on. There are great doctors who discover how to separate twins and how to put together a human being to walk again after it's said he won't. Those are all there as signs.
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I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.
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Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.
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Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.
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