Quote

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

Bill Cosby

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Cosby
Age: 87
Born: 1937
Born: July 12
American Football Player
Comedian
Composer
Dub Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Manufacturer
Screenwriter
Singer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
William Henry Bill Cosby Jr.
Dr. William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William Henry Cosby Jr.
Times
Precisely
Shave
Funny
Privacy
Fatherhood
Comes
Quickly
Invariably
Father
Dad
Learns
Certain
Humor
Station
Children
Needed
Bathroom
Way
Company
Gas
Child
Stations

More quotes by Bill Cosby

Image
When the child is twelve, your wife buys her a splendidly silly article of clothing called a training bra. To train what? I never had a training jock. And believe me, when I played football, I could have used a training jock more than any twelve-year-old needs a training bra.
Bill Cosby
Image
YOU are a genius!... and I am a genius because I married you.
Bill Cosby
Image
I don't think you can bring the races together by joking about the differences between them. I'd rather talk about the similarities, about what's universal in their experiences.
Bill Cosby
Image
Any husband who says, My wife and I are completely equal partners, is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.
Bill Cosby
Image
You are not going to 'go forth.' You are going to take that damn hat off and you're going to get a job.
Bill Cosby
Image
A child who is disciplined will be more obedient and also more organized as a student.
Bill Cosby
Image
The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off.
Bill Cosby
Image
The mother may be doing ninety percent of the disciplining, but the father still must have a full-time acceptance of all the children. He never must say, Get these kids out of here I'm trying to watch TV. If he ever does start saying this, he is liable to see one of his kids on the six o'clock news.
Bill Cosby
Image
As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by 'survival of the fittest.'
Bill Cosby
Image
When I decided that I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a school teacher for 7th and 8th grade boys because I felt that was an important time for them. I had gone astray at that point in my life and really wanted to help keep them from making the same mistake I had made.
Bill Cosby
Image
I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are.
Bill Cosby
Image
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby
Image
I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.
Bill Cosby
Image
The heart of marriage is memories.
Bill Cosby
Image
When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing ... will win arguments and straighten people out.
Bill Cosby
Image
It's painful, but we can't heal ourselves unless we cleanse the wounds.
Bill Cosby
Image
If you listen carefully to what a child is saying to you, you'll see that he has a point to make. So I listen. And I answer them just as seriously as possible. And if I don't know the answer, I'll tell them I don't know.
Bill Cosby
Image
My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children.
Bill Cosby
Image
The essence of childhood, of course, is play.
Bill Cosby
Image
Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.
Bill Cosby