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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Bill Cosby

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Bill Cosby
Age: 87
Born: 1937
Born: July 12
American Football Player
Comedian
Composer
Dub Actor
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Manufacturer
Screenwriter
Singer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
William Henry Bill Cosby Jr.
Dr. William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William H. Cosby Jr. Ed.D.
William Henry Cosby Jr.
Pretending
Dad
Fathering
Humor
Mothering
Present
Fatherhood
Funny
Soap
Father
Rope
Love
Daddy
Parenting

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The heart of marriage is memories.
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My mother was an authority on pig sties. This is the worst looking pigsty I have ever seen in my life, and I want it cleaned up right now.
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Well, I really don't know what the secret of success is but I can tell you that the secret of failure is to try to please everyone.
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Grandparents are God's gifts to children.
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The secret of success is to be like a duck, Smooth and unruffled on top, But paddling furiously underneath.
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The beautiful thing about older people is their ability to cut the fat off of conversation. When they talk, they don't go on forever and ever. They say what they have to say, and that's it. That was my grand dad. Some of the things he said stunned me, but his words were logical. I'll never forget them.
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As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird.
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I wanted to give the house back to the parents.
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You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery.
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I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are.
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There are no absolutes in raising children. In any stressful situation, fathering is always a roll of the dice. The game may be messy, but I have never found one with more joys and rewards.
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Fatherhood is telling your daughter that Michael Jackson loves all his fans, but has special feelings for the ones who eat broccoli.
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You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it.
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I can't even talk the way these people talk. 'Why you ain't?' 'Where you is?' Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
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Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.
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Fatherhood is helping your children learn English as a foreign language.
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I don't have a problem believing in God and Jesus. But in Genesis one has to wonder about these sentences that just go on and end without finishing. The thought is unfinished. Where did Adam go? What is he doing? Hello? There has to be some pages missing.
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Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.
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Let me say this: I only expect the black media to uphold the standards of excellence in journalism and when you do that, you have to go in with a neutral mind.
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