Quote

I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.

Bill Burr

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Shows
Take
People
Certified
Cleaning
Rays
Teeth
Start
Show

More quotes by Bill Burr

Image
It’s been a dream to work with Netflix because they don’t have any pressure from advertisers.
Bill Burr
Image
Do you know how many times a week people ask me why I'm yelling?
Bill Burr
Image
I was painfully shy when I was younger but at some point you've gotta grow up. I think the genius in the man-boy thing is you tap into a woman's motherly instincts.
Bill Burr
Image
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what's bugging me.
Bill Burr
Image
I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous.
Bill Burr
Image
If this goes into sweatshop labor, I'm quitting this podcast.
Bill Burr
Image
Some guy workin' at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can't do it, because whores don't care about lumber.
Bill Burr
Image
Turn inward and say to yourself I'm just gonna do it. That mindset got me to where I am now. I look at the industry like it's a giant mall, and I have a little store - this what I'm selling: I do stand-up, I've got a podcast, and occasionally I act.
Bill Burr
Image
If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
Bill Burr
Image
I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.
Bill Burr
Image
I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed.
Bill Burr
Image
I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously.
Bill Burr
Image
People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you're a good person. And stop caring about what the industry is looking for. Just say what you think is funny. .
Bill Burr
Image
Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
Bill Burr
Image
It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think in the old days with the studio system the performer was a bit of an afterthought. You can be a wildcard on the internet. But if you put something on the internet once it's out there it's out there for life.
Bill Burr
Image
Actually they [ Netflix] were telling us to push it further and I've never gotten a nod like that from anybody in the industry, so it's been awesome to work with them. I'm very happy where we're at.
Bill Burr
Image
I was in NYC during 9/11 it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.
Bill Burr
Image
I liked Jimmy Snuka, Tony Garea, Larry Zbyszko, Bob Backlund, Bruno Sammartino, Chief Strongbow, SD Jones (even though they never let him win), Captain Lou, Ted DiBiase...Uh...I'm forgetting some people...Greg Valentine. Chris Rock and Ric Flair are the best. Ric Flair is the king.
Bill Burr
Image
I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.
Bill Burr
Image
I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don't like their jobs. If you give people something to laugh about, it's good.
Bill Burr