Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.
Bill Burr
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Start
Show
Shows
Take
People
Certified
Cleaning
Rays
Teeth
More quotes by Bill Burr
I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.
Bill Burr
Patrice O'Neal is the best comic I ever saw.
Bill Burr
Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?
Bill Burr
You know why men make more money than women? Because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids and I have to stay - that's why I get the dollar more an hour.
Bill Burr
You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.
Bill Burr
I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to kill myself.
Bill Burr
I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.
Bill Burr
I was in NYC during 9/11 it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.
Bill Burr
Being a stand-up comic, this isn't a stepping-stone for me it's what I do, and this is what I'm always going to do. And even if I do a TV show, the only reasons to do a TV show is to get more people to know me to come out to my stand-up shows.
Bill Burr
Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.
Bill Burr
I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.
Bill Burr
Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
Bill Burr
I consider Ric Flair to be one of the great comedic minds. But I never got to see him growing up because that was back when they still had territories.
Bill Burr
I gotta be honest with you. Im kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?
Bill Burr
I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are really talented and scared to follow their talent because you don't know where it's going.
Bill Burr
If this goes into sweatshop labor, I'm quitting this podcast.
Bill Burr
If I can sell out clubs and theaters and play dirtbags in movies, and get blown up in a car or get the crap beat out of me in a movie, that's good for me I'm good.
Bill Burr
For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.
Bill Burr
I'm also disappointed in the Democrats that Hillary [Clintom] was the best they could get - It just keeps going back to Bush's and Clinton's - I'm sick of 'em! Even Jeb [Bush] was hanging in there for a minute.
Bill Burr
If you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you're from and some of the thought processes. Like when I finally got away from the east coast for a while, and I came back there was just this underlying anger that I never noticed before, because I was born there and just dropped right into it.
Bill Burr
