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I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I didn't wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.

Bill Burr

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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Guy
Hats
Looking
Fats
Didn
Comedian
Trying
Improve
Good
Hot
Silly
Wear
Chick
Wasn
Chicks

More quotes by Bill Burr

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I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career.
Bill Burr
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I've been bumped, I've had to go up after them, I've had stuff thrown at me, I've been booed. I've had people steal from me and lie to me.
Bill Burr
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Turn inward and say to yourself I'm just gonna do it. That mindset got me to where I am now. I look at the industry like it's a giant mall, and I have a little store - this what I'm selling: I do stand-up, I've got a podcast, and occasionally I act.
Bill Burr
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I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.
Bill Burr
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I'm not easy to live with. My wife is a saint.
Bill Burr
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You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can't believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me.
Bill Burr
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Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
Bill Burr
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My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
Bill Burr
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I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.
Bill Burr
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It’s been a dream to work with Netflix because they don’t have any pressure from advertisers.
Bill Burr
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There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head.
Bill Burr
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To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.
Bill Burr
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It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of nowhere comes this speeding camouflaged golf cart and this guy starts yelling at me, 'What do you think you're doing!' The guy wrote my name down and began to follow me before I got really scared and took off as fast as I could.
Bill Burr
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I've had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
Bill Burr
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I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.
Bill Burr
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If you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you're from and some of the thought processes. Like when I finally got away from the east coast for a while, and I came back there was just this underlying anger that I never noticed before, because I was born there and just dropped right into it.
Bill Burr
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Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.
Bill Burr
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You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, 'You know what? We don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.
Bill Burr
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Inter-racial sex is probably some of the best sex on the planet. You know what that is? Because with inter-racial sex there's like this whole added pressure to perform. 'Cause it's kinda like you're not just humping for yourself. You're humping for your race. You got to represent your people.
Bill Burr
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For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.
Bill Burr