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I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.

Bill Burr

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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Believe
Debates
Debate
Donald
Trump
Actually
Cannot

More quotes by Bill Burr

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Don't be a jerk to other comics and don't let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you're going to get somewhere.
Bill Burr
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I think the fear of humiliating yourself on stage always motivates me to give at least 90 percent. I've definitely been guilty of leaning on the mic stand, but you can only do that so long before you're like, Jesus, I'm bombing. The fact that people pay to come see me, that's really just out the window.
Bill Burr
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My dad was a dentist but I wasn't a hygienist. I assisted my dad.
Bill Burr
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I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.
Bill Burr
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Being a stand-up comic, this isn't a stepping-stone for me it's what I do, and this is what I'm always going to do. And even if I do a TV show, the only reasons to do a TV show is to get more people to know me to come out to my stand-up shows.
Bill Burr
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I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.
Bill Burr
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There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head.
Bill Burr
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Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
Bill Burr
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I have fun doing movies, I’ve had fun doing the animated show, and I certainly have fun doing standup. Even that, even though it’s just me talking, it’s also interaction with the crowd.
Bill Burr
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Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?
Bill Burr
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Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.
Bill Burr
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I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.
Bill Burr
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I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career.
Bill Burr
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I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.
Bill Burr
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You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.
Bill Burr
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I have to make small adjustments, but I can't change too much. If I'm worrying about that stuff too much then the show isn't as funny.
Bill Burr
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I was painfully shy when I was younger but at some point you've gotta grow up. I think the genius in the man-boy thing is you tap into a woman's motherly instincts.
Bill Burr
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Patrice O'Neal is the best comic I ever saw.
Bill Burr
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I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed.
Bill Burr
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Actually they [ Netflix] were telling us to push it further and I've never gotten a nod like that from anybody in the industry, so it's been awesome to work with them. I'm very happy where we're at.
Bill Burr