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For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.

Bill Burr

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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Thinking
Aspiring
Comedians
Comedian
Listen
Stage
Funny
Think

More quotes by Bill Burr

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I do enjoy them. I get to meet the next generation of comics and help them out. Big comics doing small shows was something that used to happen a lot more back in the day. I wish there was more of that.
Bill Burr
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Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
Bill Burr
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Inter-racial sex is probably some of the best sex on the planet. You know what that is? Because with inter-racial sex there's like this whole added pressure to perform. 'Cause it's kinda like you're not just humping for yourself. You're humping for your race. You got to represent your people.
Bill Burr
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I think I know how to raise a kid. You just play catch with 'em. You just talk about life, and you distract them by throwing the ball. They don't even notice that you're filling up their heads with your theories.
Bill Burr
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I was painfully shy when I was younger but at some point you've gotta grow up. I think the genius in the man-boy thing is you tap into a woman's motherly instincts.
Bill Burr
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If you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you're from and some of the thought processes. Like when I finally got away from the east coast for a while, and I came back there was just this underlying anger that I never noticed before, because I was born there and just dropped right into it.
Bill Burr
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I gotta be honest with you. Im kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?
Bill Burr
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Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
Bill Burr
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You know why men make more money than women? Because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids and I have to stay - that's why I get the dollar more an hour.
Bill Burr
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I have to make small adjustments, but I can't change too much. If I'm worrying about that stuff too much then the show isn't as funny.
Bill Burr
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Patrice O'Neal is the best comic I ever saw.
Bill Burr
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I can tell you why I like different countries. Ireland - some of the funniest heckles I've ever gotten. And the last time I did England I did Bristol, Manchester, and then London. The whole country is just amazing to drive through.
Bill Burr
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Do you know how many times a week people ask me why I'm yelling?
Bill Burr
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If you're on social media as a performer you can tell. If you don't get any Tweets you know it's bombed. I can pretty much gauge how it's doing by comparing the reception to shows I've done that have actual ratings.
Bill Burr
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I've battled with that type of stuff, but what I've found is that by doing stand-up, I've actually learned about depression and how to combat it. I don't have clinical, but I've definitely had my bouts with it.
Bill Burr
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There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.
Bill Burr
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You have no idea how long a year is until you’re stone sober.
Bill Burr
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I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to kill myself.
Bill Burr
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Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?
Bill Burr
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It's a whole new world as far as getting a show on the air. There's good things and bad things.
Bill Burr