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When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots.
Bill Burr
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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Knots
Breaking
Stomach
Watches
Watch
More quotes by Bill Burr
You have no idea how long a year is until you’re stone sober.
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I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.
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Don't be a jerk to other comics and don't let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you're going to get somewhere.
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I've had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
Bill Burr
I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous.
Bill Burr
I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don't like their jobs. If you give people something to laugh about, it's good.
Bill Burr
You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, 'You know what? We don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.
Bill Burr
Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?
Bill Burr
If you're on social media as a performer you can tell. If you don't get any Tweets you know it's bombed. I can pretty much gauge how it's doing by comparing the reception to shows I've done that have actual ratings.
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For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.
Bill Burr
If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
Bill Burr
Podcasting is great. Total freedom.
Bill Burr
I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are really talented and scared to follow their talent because you don't know where it's going.
Bill Burr
I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.
Bill Burr
Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.
Bill Burr
I think I know how to raise a kid. You just play catch with 'em. You just talk about life, and you distract them by throwing the ball. They don't even notice that you're filling up their heads with your theories.
Bill Burr
Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
Bill Burr
I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career.
Bill Burr
Some guy workin' at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can't do it, because whores don't care about lumber.
Bill Burr
So many people there are in politics that they're overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They're so damned concerned about what everyone else is thinking. What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.
Bill Burr