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I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

Bill Burr

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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Think
Miserable
Thinking
Misery
Life
Used
Find
Live
Come
Make
Would
Funnier

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Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
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Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.
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Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.
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I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.
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To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.
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Inter-racial sex is probably some of the best sex on the planet. You know what that is? Because with inter-racial sex there's like this whole added pressure to perform. 'Cause it's kinda like you're not just humping for yourself. You're humping for your race. You got to represent your people.
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Think about the amount of crap the US has done! Between slavery and the genocide of the Native Americans - if any of that had been filmed like [Adolf] Hitler, we'd never live it down.
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I've had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
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I've been bumped, I've had to go up after them, I've had stuff thrown at me, I've been booed. I've had people steal from me and lie to me.
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I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.
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You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.
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What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard?
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It's a whole new world as far as getting a show on the air. There's good things and bad things.
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I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don't like their jobs. If you give people something to laugh about, it's good.
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I mean, stand up you're by yourself and it's live and when you're acting, unless you're doing a monologue, you're interacting with somebody else. Even if you're doing a monologue you're saying it to somebody and it's not live so you can do it a few times.
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My dad was a dentist but I wasn't a hygienist. I assisted my dad.
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When you say, there's no reason [to hit a woman] that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, there's no reason, you cut out the build-up and you're just left with the act. How you gonna solve it if you don't figure it out?
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My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
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Don't be a jerk to other comics and don't let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you're going to get somewhere.
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It’s been a dream to work with Netflix because they don’t have any pressure from advertisers.
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