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I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

Bill Burr

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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Psycho
Stage
Lying
Going
Luckily

More quotes by Bill Burr

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I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.
Bill Burr
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What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard?
Bill Burr
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Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.
Bill Burr
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You know why men make more money than women? Because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids and I have to stay - that's why I get the dollar more an hour.
Bill Burr
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I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don't like their jobs. If you give people something to laugh about, it's good.
Bill Burr
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Inter-racial sex is probably some of the best sex on the planet. You know what that is? Because with inter-racial sex there's like this whole added pressure to perform. 'Cause it's kinda like you're not just humping for yourself. You're humping for your race. You got to represent your people.
Bill Burr
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I think the fear of humiliating yourself on stage always motivates me to give at least 90 percent. I've definitely been guilty of leaning on the mic stand, but you can only do that so long before you're like, Jesus, I'm bombing. The fact that people pay to come see me, that's really just out the window.
Bill Burr
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It's a whole new world as far as getting a show on the air. There's good things and bad things.
Bill Burr
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Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
Bill Burr
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I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to kill myself.
Bill Burr
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Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?
Bill Burr
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If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
Bill Burr
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I was in NYC during 9/11 it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.
Bill Burr
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When you say, there's no reason [to hit a woman] that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, there's no reason, you cut out the build-up and you're just left with the act. How you gonna solve it if you don't figure it out?
Bill Burr
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There's a big thing right now with people using stand-up as a scapegoat. People think comedians have the power to change someone in an hour. If we had that ability, the art would not be legal. It would too dangerous.
Bill Burr
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Do you know how many times a week people ask me why I'm yelling?
Bill Burr
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I do enjoy them. I get to meet the next generation of comics and help them out. Big comics doing small shows was something that used to happen a lot more back in the day. I wish there was more of that.
Bill Burr
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My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
Bill Burr
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I'm not easy to live with. My wife is a saint.
Bill Burr
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I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career.
Bill Burr