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Do you know how many times a week people ask me why I'm yelling?

Bill Burr

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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Asks
Times
Many
People
Yelling
Week

More quotes by Bill Burr

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I gotta be honest with you. Im kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?
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If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
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I was painfully shy when I was younger but at some point you've gotta grow up. I think the genius in the man-boy thing is you tap into a woman's motherly instincts.
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You know why men make more money than women? Because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids and I have to stay - that's why I get the dollar more an hour.
Bill Burr
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What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard?
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You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, 'You know what? We don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.
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My dad was a dentist but I wasn't a hygienist. I assisted my dad.
Bill Burr
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You have no idea how long a year is until you’re stone sober.
Bill Burr
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Some guy workin' at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can't do it, because whores don't care about lumber.
Bill Burr
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Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
Bill Burr
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I've had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
Bill Burr
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Inter-racial sex is probably some of the best sex on the planet. You know what that is? Because with inter-racial sex there's like this whole added pressure to perform. 'Cause it's kinda like you're not just humping for yourself. You're humping for your race. You got to represent your people.
Bill Burr
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Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.
Bill Burr
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There's a big thing right now with people using stand-up as a scapegoat. People think comedians have the power to change someone in an hour. If we had that ability, the art would not be legal. It would too dangerous.
Bill Burr
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I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career.
Bill Burr
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Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.
Bill Burr
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I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous.
Bill Burr
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When you say, there's no reason [to hit a woman] that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, there's no reason, you cut out the build-up and you're just left with the act. How you gonna solve it if you don't figure it out?
Bill Burr
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When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots.
Bill Burr
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It's a whole new world as far as getting a show on the air. There's good things and bad things.
Bill Burr