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Inter-racial sex is probably some of the best sex on the planet. You know what that is? Because with inter-racial sex there's like this whole added pressure to perform. 'Cause it's kinda like you're not just humping for yourself. You're humping for your race. You got to represent your people.

Bill Burr

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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
People
Sex
Kinda
Cause
Racial
Probably
Added
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Represent
Race
Perform
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You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.
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I'm not easy to live with. My wife is a saint.
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When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots.
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I think I know how to raise a kid. You just play catch with 'em. You just talk about life, and you distract them by throwing the ball. They don't even notice that you're filling up their heads with your theories.
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I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.
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You have no idea how long a year is until you’re stone sober.
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I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.
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Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?
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My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
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Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
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Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.
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It’s been a dream to work with Netflix because they don’t have any pressure from advertisers.
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I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous.
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There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head.
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I think the fear of humiliating yourself on stage always motivates me to give at least 90 percent. I've definitely been guilty of leaning on the mic stand, but you can only do that so long before you're like, Jesus, I'm bombing. The fact that people pay to come see me, that's really just out the window.
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My dad was a dentist but I wasn't a hygienist. I assisted my dad.
Bill Burr
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For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.
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Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
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I was in NYC during 9/11 it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.
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I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.
Bill Burr