Quote

Some guy workin' at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can't do it, because whores don't care about lumber.

Bill Burr

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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Guy
Care
Women
Depot
Home
Workin
Many
Lumber
Whores
Celebrity
Wants

More quotes by Bill Burr

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I'm also disappointed in the Democrats that Hillary [Clintom] was the best they could get - It just keeps going back to Bush's and Clinton's - I'm sick of 'em! Even Jeb [Bush] was hanging in there for a minute.
Bill Burr
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My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
Bill Burr
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I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous.
Bill Burr
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I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.
Bill Burr
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I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career.
Bill Burr
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I've battled with that type of stuff, but what I've found is that by doing stand-up, I've actually learned about depression and how to combat it. I don't have clinical, but I've definitely had my bouts with it.
Bill Burr
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Patrice O'Neal is the best comic I ever saw.
Bill Burr
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Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
Bill Burr
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It's a whole new world as far as getting a show on the air. There's good things and bad things.
Bill Burr
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What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard?
Bill Burr
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I've had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
Bill Burr
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When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots.
Bill Burr
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I think the fear of humiliating yourself on stage always motivates me to give at least 90 percent. I've definitely been guilty of leaning on the mic stand, but you can only do that so long before you're like, Jesus, I'm bombing. The fact that people pay to come see me, that's really just out the window.
Bill Burr
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There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.
Bill Burr
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I do enjoy them. I get to meet the next generation of comics and help them out. Big comics doing small shows was something that used to happen a lot more back in the day. I wish there was more of that.
Bill Burr
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To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.
Bill Burr
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I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what's bugging me.
Bill Burr
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I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously.
Bill Burr
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I'm not easy to live with. My wife is a saint.
Bill Burr
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It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think in the old days with the studio system the performer was a bit of an afterthought. You can be a wildcard on the internet. But if you put something on the internet once it's out there it's out there for life.
Bill Burr