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I bet The Walking Dead gets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f-king window, am I right?

Bill Burr

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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Dead
Montana
Look
Rating
Looks
Lows
Need
King
Right
Kings
Needs
Window
Really
Walking
Gets
Ratings

More quotes by Bill Burr

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There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head.
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Some guy workin' at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can't do it, because whores don't care about lumber.
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I gotta be honest with you. Im kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?
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If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
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Actually they [ Netflix] were telling us to push it further and I've never gotten a nod like that from anybody in the industry, so it's been awesome to work with them. I'm very happy where we're at.
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I'm not easy to live with. My wife is a saint.
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I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career.
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I liked Jimmy Snuka, Tony Garea, Larry Zbyszko, Bob Backlund, Bruno Sammartino, Chief Strongbow, SD Jones (even though they never let him win), Captain Lou, Ted DiBiase...Uh...I'm forgetting some people...Greg Valentine. Chris Rock and Ric Flair are the best. Ric Flair is the king.
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I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.
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To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.
Bill Burr
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You know why men make more money than women? Because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids and I have to stay - that's why I get the dollar more an hour.
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Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?
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I think the fear of humiliating yourself on stage always motivates me to give at least 90 percent. I've definitely been guilty of leaning on the mic stand, but you can only do that so long before you're like, Jesus, I'm bombing. The fact that people pay to come see me, that's really just out the window.
Bill Burr
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Inter-racial sex is probably some of the best sex on the planet. You know what that is? Because with inter-racial sex there's like this whole added pressure to perform. 'Cause it's kinda like you're not just humping for yourself. You're humping for your race. You got to represent your people.
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I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.
Bill Burr
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I was in NYC during 9/11 it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.
Bill Burr
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Do you know how many times a week people ask me why I'm yelling?
Bill Burr
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You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, 'You know what? We don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.
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Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
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I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I didn't wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.
Bill Burr