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I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to kill myself.

Bill Burr

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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Kill
Stand
Four
Hours
Past
Anything
Flying
Good
Obviously
Love
Radio

More quotes by Bill Burr

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My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
Bill Burr
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I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.
Bill Burr
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Turn inward and say to yourself I'm just gonna do it. That mindset got me to where I am now. I look at the industry like it's a giant mall, and I have a little store - this what I'm selling: I do stand-up, I've got a podcast, and occasionally I act.
Bill Burr
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Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.
Bill Burr
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You have no idea how long a year is until you’re stone sober.
Bill Burr
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I'm not easy to live with. My wife is a saint.
Bill Burr
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For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.
Bill Burr
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I've battled with that type of stuff, but what I've found is that by doing stand-up, I've actually learned about depression and how to combat it. I don't have clinical, but I've definitely had my bouts with it.
Bill Burr
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I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I didn't wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.
Bill Burr
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I bet The Walking Dead gets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f-king window, am I right?
Bill Burr
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If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
Bill Burr
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I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous.
Bill Burr
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Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.
Bill Burr
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I gotta be honest with you. Im kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?
Bill Burr
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When you say, there's no reason [to hit a woman] that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, there's no reason, you cut out the build-up and you're just left with the act. How you gonna solve it if you don't figure it out?
Bill Burr
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I think the fear of humiliating yourself on stage always motivates me to give at least 90 percent. I've definitely been guilty of leaning on the mic stand, but you can only do that so long before you're like, Jesus, I'm bombing. The fact that people pay to come see me, that's really just out the window.
Bill Burr
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There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head.
Bill Burr
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If you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you're from and some of the thought processes. Like when I finally got away from the east coast for a while, and I came back there was just this underlying anger that I never noticed before, because I was born there and just dropped right into it.
Bill Burr
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You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can't believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me.
Bill Burr
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I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what's bugging me.
Bill Burr