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What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard?

Bill Burr

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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Like
Lizards
Year
Rather
Funny
Look
Looks
Years
Would
Lizard

More quotes by Bill Burr

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There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head.
Bill Burr
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I gotta be honest with you. Im kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?
Bill Burr
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I think I know how to raise a kid. You just play catch with 'em. You just talk about life, and you distract them by throwing the ball. They don't even notice that you're filling up their heads with your theories.
Bill Burr
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Patrice O'Neal is the best comic I ever saw.
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Podcasting is great. Total freedom.
Bill Burr
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Actually they [ Netflix] were telling us to push it further and I've never gotten a nod like that from anybody in the industry, so it's been awesome to work with them. I'm very happy where we're at.
Bill Burr
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I've had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
Bill Burr
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I consider Ric Flair to be one of the great comedic minds. But I never got to see him growing up because that was back when they still had territories.
Bill Burr
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I was painfully shy when I was younger but at some point you've gotta grow up. I think the genius in the man-boy thing is you tap into a woman's motherly instincts.
Bill Burr
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You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, 'You know what? We don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.
Bill Burr
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I keep doing specials because I think there are a lot of people who make movies and TV who are fans of comedy - if they start to like you, they'll get a project going and call you in.
Bill Burr
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I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don't like their jobs. If you give people something to laugh about, it's good.
Bill Burr
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I have to make small adjustments, but I can't change too much. If I'm worrying about that stuff too much then the show isn't as funny.
Bill Burr
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I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous.
Bill Burr
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Turn inward and say to yourself I'm just gonna do it. That mindset got me to where I am now. I look at the industry like it's a giant mall, and I have a little store - this what I'm selling: I do stand-up, I've got a podcast, and occasionally I act.
Bill Burr
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I have fun doing movies, I’ve had fun doing the animated show, and I certainly have fun doing standup. Even that, even though it’s just me talking, it’s also interaction with the crowd.
Bill Burr
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When you say, there's no reason [to hit a woman] that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, there's no reason, you cut out the build-up and you're just left with the act. How you gonna solve it if you don't figure it out?
Bill Burr
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I mean, stand up you're by yourself and it's live and when you're acting, unless you're doing a monologue, you're interacting with somebody else. Even if you're doing a monologue you're saying it to somebody and it's not live so you can do it a few times.
Bill Burr
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My dad was a dentist but I wasn't a hygienist. I assisted my dad.
Bill Burr
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Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.
Bill Burr