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There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head.
Bill Burr
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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Head
Woman
Give
Reason
Right
Giving
Really
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More quotes by Bill Burr
It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of nowhere comes this speeding camouflaged golf cart and this guy starts yelling at me, 'What do you think you're doing!' The guy wrote my name down and began to follow me before I got really scared and took off as fast as I could.
Bill Burr
To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.
Bill Burr
So many people there are in politics that they're overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They're so damned concerned about what everyone else is thinking. What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.
Bill Burr
I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I didn't wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.
Bill Burr
I have to make small adjustments, but I can't change too much. If I'm worrying about that stuff too much then the show isn't as funny.
Bill Burr
I'm also disappointed in the Democrats that Hillary [Clintom] was the best they could get - It just keeps going back to Bush's and Clinton's - I'm sick of 'em! Even Jeb [Bush] was hanging in there for a minute.
Bill Burr
I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.
Bill Burr
I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.
Bill Burr
I can tell you why I like different countries. Ireland - some of the funniest heckles I've ever gotten. And the last time I did England I did Bristol, Manchester, and then London. The whole country is just amazing to drive through.
Bill Burr
Some guy workin' at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can't do it, because whores don't care about lumber.
Bill Burr
Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
Bill Burr
Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.
Bill Burr
Podcasting is great. Total freedom.
Bill Burr
You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can't believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me.
Bill Burr
Being a stand-up comic, this isn't a stepping-stone for me it's what I do, and this is what I'm always going to do. And even if I do a TV show, the only reasons to do a TV show is to get more people to know me to come out to my stand-up shows.
Bill Burr
I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.
Bill Burr
It’s been a dream to work with Netflix because they don’t have any pressure from advertisers.
Bill Burr
I bet The Walking Dead gets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f-king window, am I right?
Bill Burr
I'm one of those guys where you know, I'm 23 years into this and I love the road more than ever and rather than whittling down my schedule to just play the major cities, I've actually expanded the amount of places that I go to because I want to see a bunch of stuff. You know, plan it as I can while I'm still young enough to travel.
Bill Burr
I was in NYC during 9/11 it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.
Bill Burr
