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I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.

Bill Burr

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Bill Burr
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Canton
Massachusetts
William Frederic Bill Burr
Love
Dog
Issues
Head
Guy
Funny
Hate
Women
Great
Bankers

More quotes by Bill Burr

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Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
Bill Burr
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I was in NYC during 9/11 it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.
Bill Burr
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What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard?
Bill Burr
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I liked Jimmy Snuka, Tony Garea, Larry Zbyszko, Bob Backlund, Bruno Sammartino, Chief Strongbow, SD Jones (even though they never let him win), Captain Lou, Ted DiBiase...Uh...I'm forgetting some people...Greg Valentine. Chris Rock and Ric Flair are the best. Ric Flair is the king.
Bill Burr
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If you're on social media as a performer you can tell. If you don't get any Tweets you know it's bombed. I can pretty much gauge how it's doing by comparing the reception to shows I've done that have actual ratings.
Bill Burr
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I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.
Bill Burr
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When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots.
Bill Burr
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I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.
Bill Burr
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Animated program was definitely a different process but it was fun though, it had elements of doing my podcast where we were all in a booth with microphones joking around and stuff. It was definitely a fun process.
Bill Burr
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I'm also disappointed in the Democrats that Hillary [Clintom] was the best they could get - It just keeps going back to Bush's and Clinton's - I'm sick of 'em! Even Jeb [Bush] was hanging in there for a minute.
Bill Burr
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I do enjoy them. I get to meet the next generation of comics and help them out. Big comics doing small shows was something that used to happen a lot more back in the day. I wish there was more of that.
Bill Burr
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I gotta be honest with you. Im kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?
Bill Burr
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I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what's bugging me.
Bill Burr
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I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous.
Bill Burr
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There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.
Bill Burr
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Think about the amount of crap the US has done! Between slavery and the genocide of the Native Americans - if any of that had been filmed like [Adolf] Hitler, we'd never live it down.
Bill Burr
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I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously.
Bill Burr
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People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you're a good person. And stop caring about what the industry is looking for. Just say what you think is funny. .
Bill Burr
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For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.
Bill Burr
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I'm one of those guys where you know, I'm 23 years into this and I love the road more than ever and rather than whittling down my schedule to just play the major cities, I've actually expanded the amount of places that I go to because I want to see a bunch of stuff. You know, plan it as I can while I'm still young enough to travel.
Bill Burr