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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don't have these.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Way
Kings
Like
West
World
Security
People
Law
Water
Moan
Running
Electricity
Live
Britain
Many
Rule

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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I spent money on a decent bike, a bit of kit for paddle boarding and I like bird watching so I bought a decent pair of binoculars but as far as bottles of Cristal champagne and Gucci loafers? No, blingy and showy stuff isn't me.
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Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
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This shed does not contain me.
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Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'
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Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all it's thermal and mechanical functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavors ultimately pointless. Just to put the gig in some sort of context.
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That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.
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I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
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Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.
Bill Bailey
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
Bill Bailey