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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don't have these.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
People
Law
Water
Moan
Running
Electricity
Live
Britain
Many
Rule
Way
Kings
Like
West
World
Security

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
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The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.
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The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.
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Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
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I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
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I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says Why the long face?. The horse replies: I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'
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Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
Bill Bailey
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Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
Bill Bailey