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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you're just doing the odd appearance, you don't know if it will carry on.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Littles
Regular
Little
Appearance
Even
Carry
Plan
Plans
Television
Gigs
Bits
Odd
Money
Earn

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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In Unity there is strength We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
Bill Bailey
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This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
Bill Bailey
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I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
Bill Bailey
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says Why the long face?. The horse replies: I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.
Bill Bailey
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Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
Bill Bailey
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Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
Bill Bailey
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
Bill Bailey
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
Bill Bailey
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That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.
Bill Bailey