Quote

I spent money on a decent bike, a bit of kit for paddle boarding and I like bird watching so I bought a decent pair of binoculars but as far as bottles of Cristal champagne and Gucci loafers? No, blingy and showy stuff isn't me.

Bill Bailey

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Like
Bought
Showy
Decent
Gucci
Spent
Boarding
Watching
Champagne
Bird
Pair
Bits
Bike
Binoculars
Stuff
Bottles
Paddle
Money
Pairs
Loafers

More quotes by Bill Bailey

Image
Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
Bill Bailey
Image
Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
Bill Bailey
Image
I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
Bill Bailey
Image
People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
Bill Bailey
Image
American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
Bill Bailey
Image
Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
Bill Bailey
Image
Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.
Bill Bailey
Image
I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.
Bill Bailey
Image
I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
Bill Bailey
Image
Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
Bill Bailey
Image
This shed does not contain me.
Bill Bailey
Image
This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
Bill Bailey
Image
Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
Bill Bailey
Image
I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
Bill Bailey
Image
A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says Why the long face?. The horse replies: I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.
Bill Bailey
Image
I try to appreciate the simple things. I've just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
Bill Bailey
Image
Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
Bill Bailey
Image
Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
Bill Bailey
Image
I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
Bill Bailey
Image
I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
Bill Bailey