Quote

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says Why the long face?. The horse replies: I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Funny
Aspect
Replies
Long
Humor
Troubled
Walks
Protected
Says
Aspects
Existence
Extent
Law
Bars
Barman
Face
Deeply
Barmen
Faces
Horse
Anthropomorphic

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
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The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.
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Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all it's thermal and mechanical functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavors ultimately pointless. Just to put the gig in some sort of context.
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Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'
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I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don't have these.
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
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I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.
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This shed does not contain me.
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
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