Quote

Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Weasel
Weasels
Cheese
Finish
Humor
Call
Funny

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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I try to appreciate the simple things. I've just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
Bill Bailey
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
Bill Bailey
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I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
Bill Bailey
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
Bill Bailey
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
Bill Bailey
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
Bill Bailey
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Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all it's thermal and mechanical functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavors ultimately pointless. Just to put the gig in some sort of context.
Bill Bailey
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The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.
Bill Bailey
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
Bill Bailey
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But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!
Bill Bailey
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That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.
Bill Bailey
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you're just doing the odd appearance, you don't know if it will carry on.
Bill Bailey
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
Bill Bailey
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Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
Bill Bailey
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I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'
Bill Bailey
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This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
Bill Bailey
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
Bill Bailey
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
Bill Bailey
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.
Bill Bailey
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
Bill Bailey