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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Call
Funny
Weasel
Weasels
Cheese
Finish
Humor

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
Bill Bailey
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The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.
Bill Bailey
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.
Bill Bailey
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I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
Bill Bailey
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This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
Bill Bailey
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Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
Bill Bailey
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The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.
Bill Bailey
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
Bill Bailey
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
Bill Bailey
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Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'
Bill Bailey
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
Bill Bailey
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says Why the long face?. The horse replies: I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.
Bill Bailey
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
Bill Bailey
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Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
Bill Bailey
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
Bill Bailey
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
Bill Bailey
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
Bill Bailey
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
Bill Bailey
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But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!
Bill Bailey
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People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
Bill Bailey