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I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Think
Sorry
Thinking
Humor
Morning
Funny
Done
Feel
Blunt
Feels
James
Every
Wake

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!
Bill Bailey
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
Bill Bailey
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That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.
Bill Bailey
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
Bill Bailey
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.
Bill Bailey
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
Bill Bailey
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People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
Bill Bailey
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
Bill Bailey
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
Bill Bailey
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you're just doing the odd appearance, you don't know if it will carry on.
Bill Bailey
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
Bill Bailey
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I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
Bill Bailey
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
Bill Bailey
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.
Bill Bailey
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
Bill Bailey
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
Bill Bailey
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
Bill Bailey
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
Bill Bailey
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
Bill Bailey
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.
Bill Bailey