Quote

I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'

Bill Bailey

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Think
Sorry
Thinking
Humor
Morning
Funny
Done
Feel
Blunt
Feels
James
Every
Wake

More quotes by Bill Bailey

Image
This shed does not contain me.
Bill Bailey
Image
Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
Bill Bailey
Image
Thank God for Darwin, eh?
Bill Bailey
Image
Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'
Bill Bailey
Image
I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
Bill Bailey
Image
I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
Bill Bailey
Image
At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.
Bill Bailey
Image
Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'
Bill Bailey
Image
I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'
Bill Bailey
Image
Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
Bill Bailey
Image
I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
Bill Bailey
Image
The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.
Bill Bailey
Image
I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
Bill Bailey
Image
I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
Bill Bailey
Image
Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
Bill Bailey
Image
People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
Bill Bailey
Image
Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
Bill Bailey
Image
Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
Bill Bailey
Image
Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
Bill Bailey
Image
The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
Bill Bailey